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Care for each other? They were both using a walker!

8/6/2014

As I was going through the drive-thru at Hardee's this morning, I looked over and saw an elderly couple getting out of their car. The car is in the handicap spot, so I assumed that the passenger was disabled. When to my surprise, the woman got out of the car very gingerly and the passenger was doing the same. They both reached into the back seat to pull out walkers!

Now, knowing what I know from seeing folks try to take care of each other at this age, I can just imagine what their future holds. There is NO WAY that they can take care of each other and it will be detrimental to the others health to even try!

Secondary story happened last week, when a friend posted a prayer request for her aunt and uncle. The aunt was in the hospital getting a hip replacement and the husband fell and broke his hip! What if they both need care for an extended period of time? They have no children in the area and their niece is a very busy business owner. Can they afford Home Health Care? What if one does not recover well?

Moral of the stories: When someone say's "I'll take care of him and he'll take care of me" Ask them, "What if you both need care?" Better yet, have them try to pick one another up out of a chair and see if they can even do it today! Remember, our job is to talk to 55 year old couple and convince them that the 80 year old couple will probably be unable to take care of each other!

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"Sorry, she's uninsurable." (A gut check for the husband)

8/6/2014

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It's one of the saddest sights for any agent to see. That look on a man's face when he knows that he's screwed up and now it's going to cost him. Yes, I said man's face, because they usually are very quick to kill a long-term care sale. Why? Because, they married their caregiver 20, 25, 30 years ago.

Oh, don't let the "tough guy" fool you. They know when they've messed up and they will show emotion when it's about the welfare of their wife, cook, cleaning lady, laundry person and caregiver. And, nothing brings this out more than these 3 words, "Sorry, she's uninsurable".

This is a telling sign of his love for her as well as he knows it's going to cost him. For he knows that she may not outlive him and he'll eventually have to deal with the loss of his beloved spouse. On the other hand, this brings up another issue. His caregiver most likely need care and pass away before him. Then, later on, if he needs care, it will cost him because he doesn't have a FREE caregiver built-in anymore.

You may say that the children can come take care of Dad. Now, that's something that you can see being an issue even before your clients reach the age of needing care. If Mom and Dad live here in North Carolina but their children live more than an hour away, it may be very unlikely that they'll be able to be an active participant in his care. Does he want them to be? Do they have their own lives? Does the couple have all boys and taking care of Dad's personal needs be something strong ol' Dad would not want his boys to do? What if their only child has health issues?

So, next time you run into that "tough guy" mentality, find out how much he cares for his wife of many years and the mother of his children, ask him, "What if she goes first?" or "What if she needs care first?" Then, give him an out and say "We can show you a way to take care of both of you and how to get all the premiums back, if you are concerned about needing care or you feel that this will be a waste of money."

Note: A "cake and eat it too" approach works best! Also, you have to project the realities of their future health care needs and the weaknesses of their support network. (aka: sickly spouse, size difference, distance children currently live away from home)

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Care for each other? They were both using a walker!

"Sorry, she's uninsurable." (A gut check for the husband)

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